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Joke of the Day
"I don't drink any more. Or any less."
Next Joke
"If your uncle jack helped you off an elephant Would you help your uncle jack off an elephant?"
"lucifer: let's give them free will and see how they choose God: nice lol I'm gunna steal your idea and send you to hell lucifer: what?"
"A moral compass is just a clock that isn't drunk enough."
"[sexting] HER: ok well i think we're done here lol ME: it's bc i used 'betwixt' isn't it? [typing ellipses for a solid minute] HER: yes"
"What Did Cinderella Say When She Got To The Ball? Cough, gag, choke, etc..."
"what's wrong if everything is all right? There's nothing left"
"Every morning you have two choices: be productive and really shine, OR pour some coffee, log in and start posting. Hello, darlings."
"If thieves ever broke into my house, searching for money... ...I'd just laugh and search with them."
"So, a friend of the bride gives her a wedding gift... It is an Elsa mug. Why? Cause she should have let him go."