70563

Joke of the Day

"In 'One Really Long Metal Claw' (the bear version of 'Hook'), what did Captain Onereallylongmetalclaw really hate? Clawcks."

"What kind of shorts do clouds wear ? Thunderwear"

"How is Santa like a paedophile? They both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks."

"You know what the difference between an SUV and a rental car is? You can take a rental car *anywhere*."

"Yo dawg...pass me my 9mm I didn't realize these bolts were metric"

"[Airport Bar] Me: I'll have a beer, please. Bartender: That'll be $45. Me: Worth it."

"What language do birds speak ? Pigeon English !"

"Timing. Why don't Norwegians tell good jokes?"

"Sorry I have been gone for the last two days, my son had a quick story to tell me"

"What does Bob Marley put on his toast? Peanut butter and jammin!"