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Joke of the Day

"Not a joke; what your favourite one-liner/wordplay joke?"

"No one is more shocked that I brought my cat to a baseball game than my cat."

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak."

"The old lady at the bank An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance. So I pushed her over."

"You know you're an adult when you suddenly start taking Bert's side over Ernie's."

"Did you hear about that actress that got stabbed the other day? What was her name, Reese... > Witherspoon? No, it was with a knife."

"The worst thing about Hillary Clinton is she can't dicks out for Harambe even if she wanted to. Even Michelle can do that."

"My pull out game is so strong... When i pull out my yu gi oh cards to duel, you send yourself to the shadow realm."

"You are not even beneath my contempt."

"*pregnant wife wakes up* I think my water broke *I hide the Kool-Aid packet and water jug I spilled in bed* Let's go to the hospital"