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Joke of the Day

"What did King Midas say to the centaur? Stay gold, Ponyboy."

"I like to stand in the corner of my psychiatrist's waiting room and blow on anyone who walks by... Most people hate it, but I'm a fan..."

"Stop making jokes about gay guys. Come on guys. im also fucking serious guys. its so *hard* making gay jokes and hoping you wont get lower karma, butt fuck it."

"How do you get gum out of your hair? Q: How do you get gum out of your hair? A: Cancer."

"What's long, black, and smelly? The unemployment line"

"LPT: If a non-Redditor sends you a funny pic/video on Facebook, don't tell them you already saw it last week on Reddit. You don't want them to finally realize you're a neckbeard."

"has a fever: i'm ok coughs out lungs: i'm ok throat on fire: i'm ok is hungry: death, despair and chaos has entered my life"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anka ! Anka who ? Anka the ship !"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking! jk... rolling"

"My dad finally left me a voicemail where he didn't introduce himself. I think we're getting closer."