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Joke of the Day

"The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense... Then a wigwam and a tepee walked into the bar and I left quickly. Things had gotten too tense."

"What did the field say to the farmer with no crops? Stop fallowing me!"

"I just ate a breakfast of champions. There's. Blood. EVERYWHERE."

"Why is there only women's studies in college, but not men's? Because we call men's studies history."

"Kids don't listen! I've told mine a hundred times to fall off the top of the slide during recess so we can sue the school."

"Why do people who like bondage shy away from anonymous one-night stands? There's no strings attached."

"MANAGER: You're hired! The pay is $200 per hour, plus benefits. The first thing you need to do is make a phone call to-- ME: I quit"

"If a tree falls in the forest & nobody hears it... Does a hipster buy its album?"

"What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal? Darth Vader."

"The church are upset about a new type of Heroin, called ""Jesus"" They hate it when people take the Lord's name in vein."