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Joke of the Day

"Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall and sued the construction company for using poor material for building the wall"

"What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him? Get bent!"

"What do you call a cow... What do you call a cow with three legs? *Tri-tip.* What do you call a cow with two legs? *Lean beef.* What do you call a cow with no legs? *Ground beef.*"

"A man walked into a library and asked for a book on suicide. The librarian said, ""Jack off mate, you won't bring it back!""."

"I walked into the Urgent Care bathroom and read a sign that said ""Nothing other than Toilet Paper in the Toilet"" So I Shit on the floor and flushed the toilet paper."

"I've been hearing noises in the house for a while now and while Twitter was down last night I discovered I have a wife!"

"A Linux Joke In computing, what's the only way to generate a truly random string? Put a Windows user in front of VI and tell him to quit."

"Why is America bad at the game Chess? Because they don't know how to defend their towers."

"Porsche did 911"

"The rest of these people must be totally shitfaced. -me, driving in England"