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Joke of the Day

"""Don't touch the floor. The floor is the lava"" Pompeii, 79 AD"

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"Scented toilet paper girlfriend: is this toilet paper scented? Me: I'm not sure; my asshole doesn't smell so good"
"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, dyslexic, and an agnostic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog."
"Knock Knock Knock knock Who's there? Cows Cows who? Cows moo! They don't hoo!"
"What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep? I herd that."
"After winning the election, Donald Trump has already started with his racist agenda... He's already kicking a black family out of their own home."
"How do sheep keep warm in winter ? Central bleating !"
"What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse? A tale of whoa!"
"What's the difference between a Greyhound station & a Crab with boobs? One's a crusty bus station... The other's a busty crustacean."
"How do you make a double bass sound in tune? Chop it up an turn it into a xylophone"