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Joke of the Day
"I'm always a little suspicious of women who say that they don't ""remember things"""
Next Joke
"-911 Whats the emergency? My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir? Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking?"
"What do you call an asian who flies planes? A pilot."
"I like NPR because you always know how much saliva is inside every announcer's mouth at all times."
"I hope that the missing puzzle piece my 5 year old has been searching the house for has nothing to do with my 2 year old's burp."
"My lame brother and his friends dressed up as european sausages tonight! He's the wurst."
"Sometimes I feel like a man trapped in a woman's marriage."
"What is the difference between a pack of pygmies and a girls track team? The pack of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts."
"How do you lure an English bear from his cave with the help of French cheese Camembert (Come-on-bear)"
"When someone favorites instead of retweeting me I comfort myself by thinking ""they're just keeping me to themselves"""