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Joke of the Day

"I asked Sean Connery what game he was going to play with Roger Federer tomorrow and what time he was going to go He replied: ""Tennish"""

"So I was having sex with this chick and she kept calling out another blokes name. What kind of name is 'rape' anyway?"

"Domestic terrorism? Meh... International terrorism? EHMAGARD!!"

"Nothing freaks me out like when I'm ordering from a Chinese restaurant and I ask ""What kind of meat is that?"" and they answer ""yes"""

"Most Contradictory Inspirational Quote Ever? ""Follow Your Dreams."" -Freddy Kreuger, 2016"

"7 y/o daughter: Dad, do trees poop? Me: Of course! 7 y/o: Really? Me: Why do you think they call them ""Number 2"" pencils?"

"Whats the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick down your throat"

"Yo mama so fat.. she uses google plus(G+) instead of regular google"

"Why can you never catch an economist masturbating? They use an invisible hand."

"What does cheese say when you take its picture? Make sure you get my Gouda side!"