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Joke of the Day

"After the hipster got his girl pregnant, he wouldn't shut up about how he was into her before she got big."

"My nutritionist told me to only eat foods if I could pronounce their ingredients I gained a lot of weight after taking organic chemistry."

"Where do you hide after killing a black person? behind a badge"

"One my 12-year-old cousin told me What's the difference between broccoli and boogers? Children don't eat broccoli."

"The GOP debate"

"Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said ""I hear sirens. Jump!"" The second one said ""But we're on the 13th floor!"" The first one screamed back ""This is no time to be superstitious."""

"I don't have a drafts folder. My tweeting style is ""blender without the lid on""."

"I'm having an introvert party and you're all not invited."

"Going through life totally ignorant must be the only way to find true happiness."

"My girlfriend said she will leave me unless I stop pretending to be a dung beetle. I said, 'Go right ahead. I can live without sex but I do need to eat every day'."