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Joke of the Day

"Today I learned the hard way if you over-pluck your eyebrows everyone thinks you're interested in what they are saying"

"Hey u should give your secret boss this Coke. *bottle says ""Share a Coke w/ the Drug Maker Guy""* *undercover cop's fake mustache falls off*"

"My ex-wife and I broke up over religious differences. I was agnostic and she was Satan."

"I would walk barefoot over hot koalas for you."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 13 years!"

"What's an Alzheimer patient's favorite horror movie? The Blair...Which project? [Made my roomie laugh at least]"

"I don't believe in stereotypes. Because that would mean all Asians would be driving big or expensive vehicles to make up for their penis size."

"Summing up things about this year 2015: I am officially THE WORST YEAR EVER! 2016: Hold my beer."

"What does a fedora guy say on the Singapore border? M'lasia"

"White men can jump to conclusions."