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Joke of the Day

"America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and half is spent trying to lose weight, and half is spent on education."

"Making midget jokes is mean and belittling. *belittling*"

"I felt like dancing after mixing cheap rye with powdered orange drink I called it my Whisky Tang-o Foxtrot. Seriously, WTF was I thinking?"

"Brian Williams told me if I lied I can get to the front page."

"Why do men name their penises? Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions."

"Plug your headphones into a banana. Everyone will leave you alone twice as much."

"Judge:""Since we can't prove who's baby it is we will ... cut the baby in half Worm Mom 1:""Sure Worm Mom 2 :""Ya do it."

"""Meet sexy singles in your area!"" Why do I always recognize the girls in the ""Meet sexy singles in your area!"" from 4chan? I didn't know there were so many girls in my area on 4chan!"

"My ""Metapod"" has been having some problems When I used Harden . . . It failed. So I tried to find something to help it. After asking my doctor, he said the best option would be to use a PP Up."

"Why does corn in Illinois lean east? Because Indiana sucks and Iowa blows."