60330

Joke of the Day

"Don't trust the atoms... They make up everything."

"My kids say I need to stop trying to embarrass them but joke's on them because I'm not even trying."

"""Well, this isn't helpful at all."" Termite watching ""Gettin' Wood"" on Cinemax"

"I only date men who have cats because they've been pre-trained to try and figure out what you want if you just stare at them long enough."

"Did you hear about that new restaurant on the Moon? The food isn't bad, but it has no atmosphere."

"Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened. 'I thought it was love at first sight' said Julie. 'It was but it was the second and third sights that changed my mind."

"Henry IV got injured while bowling. One could say that he, Bolingbroke, while bowling, broke."

"got a job at the no more tears baby shampoo factory spraying shampoo into babies eyes and filming their reactions. best job ive ever had"

"What did the police say when they finished interviewing Dylann Roof? You're hired"

"What's Bruce Lee's favourite drink? WAAAAAATEEEEERRRR"