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Joke of the Day
"VERY angry at @united flight attendant who REFUSED to let me ride as a lap baby"
Next Joke
"""Life Lesson: Never under any circumstance should you compliment a woman on her mustache, no matter how impressive it may be."""
"TEXT ""TEXT"" TO TEXT TO DONATE A TEXT TO TEXT"
"What's the worst thing about Jonestown jokes? The punch line."
"What does a cat say when it lands on it's back? Me. Ow."
"Just a taste... Lemme kiss that newborn so I know what the inside of your wife tastes like."
"Why couldn't anyone trust the snowman to do anything? He was kinda flakey"
"Remember kids -- it may be illegal to text and drive; but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50mph."
"To all the chicks on Twitter who complain about never getting laid, turn your location on."
"MOVIE LINES Don't you hate it when you have to wait in lines I wanted to see a movie the other day and the line was huge. Next time I'm going to download off the internet."