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Joke of the Day

"""I am un-punkable!"" - Justin Bieber, 2012. ""Mister Trump, I am a valuable asset to my team and shouldn't be fired."" - Justin Bieber, 2019."

"What's the difference between a Pizza and an onion? No one cries when you cut up Pizza."

"If I ran the world, I would enforce a police state where everyone would have to weigh-in before being allowed to order food."

"[greeting aliens] Hello, we are the smartest animals on this planet. Every week we give the grass a little haircut"

"My inability to pronounce Spanish names makes me sad, and I'm not even Jaoquin."

"This is a robbery In some firm, two masked thieves enter: -This is a robbery The accountant, relieved: -Thank GOD, I thought it was the IRS."

"This morning someone phoned me and told me that I need to sort my fucking life out. It was quite a wake up call."

"What did Kurt Kobain have such a terrible time in 7th grade? He was having a mid-life crisis."

"I'm sick of all of the Irish stereotypes... As soon as I finish this drink I'm punching someone"

"just got mad that firefox was telling me that satan was spelled wrong but turns out it just wanted me to capitalize it and show some RESPECT"