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Joke of the Day
"It's 2011 and we're not driving dragons? The future sickens me."
Next Joke
"Whoever said you cannot live off of wine and cheese alone did not try hard enough."
"Helpful weight loss tip: Don't eat so much, you fat piece of shit."
"How is a judge like an English teacher? They both hand out long sentences."
"Any room is a panic room if you've lost your phone in it."
"People that can't support their own arguments piss me off... I don't know why."
"Knock knock.. Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke."
"How to catch an elephant Dig a big hole Fill it with ashes Sprinkle peas on top When the elephant goes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole."
"I love strapping my kids into their car seats. It's the closest I can legally come to putting them in straitjackets."
"You never realize what you have till its gone... Toilet paper is a good example."