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Joke of the Day

"How's a divorce like a hurricane... There's a bunch of sucking and blowing, but in the end she takes your house."

"I really understand how batteries feel... I'm rarely included in things either."

"This polo shirt has two buttoning options: Uptight golf prick or disco chest hair."

"What does a mechanic do for a one night stand? ... He nuts and bolts."

"Right now the United States and China are tied in total Olympic medals! Of course we trail in Gold medals because every time we win one we have to turn it over to China to pay our debt!!!"

"The internet was down at work today. I got about 7 months worth of work done out of boredom."

"I haven't watched porn since last year The past 6 hours has been tough"

"When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train."

"A comedian walks into a club and says the punchline."

"Serious question... Would Titanic have been more romantic if they had both died, but holding hands and floating, like otters?"