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Joke of the Day

"In capitalist America, you grab people by the pussy. In Soviet Russia, you seize the means of reproduction."

"My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds I'd have to stay away from carbs So I've been using this insanely long straw to drink beer"

"I just finished arguing with a friend who thought that Charlize's role as Aeon Flux was much better than her role as Imperator Furiosa. I guess to each Theron."

"Anne Has A Problem Anne Has A Solution Anne Has A Will Anne Hathaway"

"What do you call tities in the middle of your beer? Better."

"""Hey Arnold Schwarzenegger, what will you be for Halloween?"" ""I'll be bach"""

"I needed a password at least eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs..."

"Where do Sith lords go to shop? The Darth Mall."

"What do you call a fire on the beach? Bernie Sanders"

"What did the lonely clock say to the other? I hope you have the time tic come toc to me"