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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when you are looking for your Subaru Forrester in a parking garage? Finding Forrester"

"What do they do with rope in space? Tie Astro-knots."

"How early do I need to start thawing the cat for Thanksgiving?"

"Why don't women need umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen."

"What's the official sports drink of the KKK? White Power-ade"

"My left butt cheek was hurting pretty bad earlier, so I asked my girlfriend to massage it for me. I told her... that I didn't want it half-assed."

"Him: 'Sorry Mr Hill, no last minute call from the Governor. Any last words?' Me: -whimpering 'She squeezed the toothpaste from the middle'"

"Republicans say it's raining; Democrats say it's sunny. Rather than go outside and see for themselves, the media reports the controversy."

"What do you call a guy with 15 rabbits up his arse? Warren."

"What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable? A fruit doesn't need a wheelchair"