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Joke of the Day

"I have the first signs of baldness, a friend said to me that my head it's like the house of a rich man... two car entrances in the front and a pool in the backyard."

"It's like my Grandpa used to say ,""The fight with grandma isn't over until I fill her pillow with spiders and she gives me back my teeth."""

"Electric Trains Q: What do electric trains and boobs have in common? A: They're both meant for small children, but it's the grown men that end up playing with them."

"What's the difference between pussy and mashed potatoes Mashed potatoes don't make their own gravy"

"Who decided to call it an English to French dictionary and not a Two - Deux list?"

"giv a man a fish adn he'll say ""wat is this i ordered a mcflurry"" teach a man to fish adn he'll say ""how ar u the manager of this mcdonalds"""

"Just got a temporary tattoo. Now I can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery for the next three days."

"My kids had a shirt made for me that says 'father of the year 2014 quarter finalist'."

"What sort of a car has your dad got? I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas."

"I'm practicing emotional abstinence I haven't given a fuck in years"