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Joke of the Day

"I can feel you getting distant from me; my only wish for you is that your destination is oncoming traffic."

"Why are the Ninja Turtles on the No-Fly list? Because they are members of an underground Splinter cell."

"What do you call a bunch of Mexican stoners? Baked beans"

"Did you hear the one about the man who let a firework off on top of his head? He went out with a bang."

"To sick to work This guy phones in to work, tells his boss he is to sick to come. So the boss says, "" Sorry to hear, how sick are you ? Guy replies, "" Very, I'm in bed with my sister."""

"a mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. he says ""uno, dos..."" and then promptly disappeared without a tres."

"A chihuahua is just a barking cat."

"What's the difference between Trump and a bucket of shit I don't have a shit bucket in my garage"

"As I walked down an alley today, I was accosted by what I thought was an angry, needy turnip. It turned to be a ruder beggar."

"Why did the ""M&M;"" go to university? He wanted to become a ""Smartie"""