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Joke of the Day

"When someone reads your message, then never responds, it's just hurtful. I mean, what else could they possibly have going on at 3 AM?"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. They can't change anything."

"What's 50 Cents name in Zimbabwe? 400 million."

"Can you really take sticks and twigs and make them into clothing? Sew it wood seam"

"Santa came last night. Oh god.... it's everywhere :("

"[me as a magician] *pulls rabbit from hat* AUDIENCE: ooOoOo *pulls knife from hat* A: ooOoOo *pulls sautee pan from hat* A: NNOOOOOO"

"What do you tell a slow tomato? ...what? Ketchup"

"The past, the present and the future walked into a bar... It was tense."

"Why do cannibals never go hungry? Because they can make themselves dinner."

"I went to my doctor and he told me I had to stop masturbating... I asked him why, and he said ""So I can examine you!"""