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Joke of the Day

"Review of Black Holes: Zero Stars"

"The worst thing about being deaf is... when I masturbate, I can't hear anybody come in my room. *Not even myself.*"

"What did the hail storm say to the roof? -Hang onto your shingles this will be no ordinary sprinkles"

"Finally watching Michael Bay's TMNT. Best part so far is a dude answering a Skype call and yelling ""How did you get this number?!?"""

"What is something that cannot lift off the ground? Your career"

"911: 911, what seems to be the emergency? Me: My nephew just hit the wall while running 911: Haha Me: Haha 911: Ok paramedics are on the way"

"Dear Girl Scouts, Your Mints did not make me Thin. ps. Please send more."

"Europe is in turmoil, but at least I've got some steady income despite the migrant crisis I own a florist around the corner from the French embassy"

"Holland break FIFA rules by accidentally scoring against Brazil"

"There is a new Jason vs Michael Myers movie coming out... ..I guess it will be a silent film?"