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Joke of the Day

"What if God is a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I'll never hear the end of it."

"How do you make Obama's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in his ears"

"I've been exaggerating... ...since 1744."

"Why No 1 likes Apple So there are some people in an electronics store and the computers are just Apple. Then someone farts and its bad,but someone says 2 bad there's no Windows"

"What's the key to a Pirate Opera? The High Cs"

"Dear sneeze, if you're gonna happen, happen. Don't put a stupid look on my face and then just leave."

"Waitress: Can I take this out of the way for you? Me: [glances at wife] uh...sure Wife: SHE MEANS THE PLATE, IDIOT"

"Q: Why do ducks look so sad? A: Because when they preen their feathers, they look down in the mouth."

"How does Yoda spend his time. He mostly just sits on his log, watching the Dagobah."

"If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherfucker a reason."