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Joke of the Day

"Fidel Castro was a cigar-smoking, repressive leader who hated free speech and a free press. Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke."

"Cop: Are you drunk or high on drugs? Me: No officer. Cop: Your pupils are dilated. Me: (Paranoid) WHA!, how'd you know I teach fat kids?!"

"How did the triangle congratulate the other triangle after hooking up with pentagon? 3edgy5me"

"Every time a baby gets named Shaniqua, a job opens up somewhere."

"Today I saw ""Jesus doesn't care about your grades"" written on the sidewalk in chalk and all I could think was ""Thank god, he'd be pissed"""

"English Teacher: So class we're going to be talking about Biased today ""So Fox News?"""

"In accordance to the Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Mechanics, we may already be in love right now."

"If you can start the toilet paper roll without clawing it like a velociraptor then you're a wizard."

"What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot, you racist piece of shit."

"What did Donald Trump say to the guy who immolated himself in front of Trump tower? ""You're fired!"""