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Joke of the Day

"What did the white guy say when he saw the twelve black men in the jury box? ""Great, it's a hung jury."""

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"Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say ""do you know who I am?"" because while I wait I like to be introspective"
"You can learn a lot from a woman wielding a knife. For example, your top running speed."
"What do a cue ball and a mexican have in common? The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them."
"Why couldn't Joe get to home? He was a Mets fan."
"My wife asked my why i carry a gun in the house. I looked at her and said ""Decepticons"". She laughed, i laughed, the toaster laughed, i shot the toaster. It was a good time."
"Disney couldn't handle my awesome script. Kylo Ren was Rey's father. Finn was her brother. Chewbacca was her cousin twice removed."
"If the Pilgrims came over on the Mayflower how did the barbers arrive? On clipper ships."
"How many mods does it take to change a lightbulb? [deleted]"
"A pirate walks into a bar With a ships wheel on his belt. The bartender asks, ""What's the wheel for?"" The pirate replies, ""Arrr it's drivin me nuts!"""