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Joke of the Day

"Lady:(standing in the middle of a busy street) Officer can you tell me how to get to the Hospital? Officer: Just stand where you are!!!"

"If a tree farm is planted next to a cornfield ... and over time grows to steal sunlight from the cornfield, would that be farmed robbery?"

"[Morning after wedding] *dead husband lies on bed* PRAYING MANTIS: [On phone] Mom *sobs* it happened again MOM: Ok hurry up and eat his body"

"What the heck does the ""z"" in ""LOLZ"" mean.... ""Laugh Out Loud.... Zebras?"

"What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist? A marine biologist."

"I found a way that will get you naked in seconds It'll knock your socks off"

"What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach? Flop-Flops"

"Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez. It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after."

"What do you call it when you give chairs to the poor? A Chair-ity!"

"What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke"