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Joke of the Day

"I'm black, and I really hate it when my white friend doesn't answer my calls. I guess some old habits never die... White man always leavin' me hanging"

"I'd like to buy this EXTRA SMALL condom please. ""Sir, that is a sleeping bag"" *winks at cashier continually until she finishes her shift*"

"What did the Mexican prostitute give to the donkey after the show? Jorge."

"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals.. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."

"How did the Hipster burn his tongue? He ate pizza before it was cool"

"If you don't want to be there today, just say ""I'm just here for the food and hopefully some good commercials. Also congrats on the wedding"""

"I'm just a boy, standing in front of the toilet paper aisle, trying to decide whether I want to wipe with a pillow, a cloud, or a kitten."

"There are so many scams on the Internet now... Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them."

"They tried me make to go to rehab and I said what is rehab hombre I speak Spanish *huffs a lot paint*"

"Moratorium on the word ""Awkward."" We're all awkward. We fart when we don't want to and that guy/gal over there is cooler. Get over it."