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Joke of the Day
"You know as soon as my ""Swear Jar"" gets full, I'm going to use the money to get a Fking Puppy!!!"
Next Joke
"Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? A: She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue."
"My dad is 100% Swedish and this was his favorite joke to tell waitresses when we went out to eat. Waitress: Are you all finished? Dad: No, I'm not Finnish, I'm Swedish."
"What do you call it when you do papercrafts with seaweed? Norigami."
"I imagine Christmas morning at the Schrodinger house is quite stressful."
"Reddit administration."
"How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronouce unionized"
"5,000 married men were surveyed as to why they like receiving oral sex. * 1% liked the warmth * 2% liked the sensation * 3% liked the eroticism * 94% just liked the peace and quiet"
"When I was a kid I got in trouble for playing with Grandma Bella in the sandbox. Can't play with dead bodies apparently."
"What do you call a group of homosexuals on rollerblades? A pack of Rolaids."