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Joke of the Day
"I wanted to have dinner before 8:30pm. So I told my wife that I absolutely needed it by 7:30pm."
Next Joke
"Had a terrible nightmare last night... I dreamt that I was forced to eat two huge marshmallows. When I woke up this morning, my pillows were gone!"
"Someone just told me that they hate bacon... I can't even find words... It's like someone just murdered a rainbow."
"If i get a rat tail... If i get a rat tail on my chinese food, should i complain or is it on the house?"
"So 2 astronomers decided to throw a party They sit down for lunch and one of them says: ok, let's planet"
"Why did the man quit working at the cemetery? It was hard to make a living."
"When I grocery shop for the wife I always buy cucumbers smaller than me, just in case."
"I went into a hotel.. I went into a hotel when a luggage boy came and said ""I'm the 'beg'gar"""
"American light beer is like two people making love in a canoe... fucking close to water"
"Using Latin phrases to sound smart is my modus operandi."