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Joke of the Day

"Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken..."

"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'."

"What colour is eight? Purple (According to my 3 year old son)"

"Did you hear about the pair of university professors who got sued for sexual harassment? They were two lecturers."

"I saw a sign that said ""watch for children"". Sounds like a fair trade"

"""It's a bird!"" [Superman zooms down to inches away from the screaming guy's face] S: Birds can't go that fast Sean. What are you an idiot"

"Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot."

"Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you."

"I was running this morning.... I was running in the park this morning, I find it really hard to push myself. So I stopped so the police could arrest me."

"A jewish boy goes up to his father and says ""Abba, I need 40 dollars."" The father looks surprised and says "" THIRTY DOLLARS? What do you need Twenty dollars for?"""