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Joke of the Day

"There's this guy at work who loves shoving baguettes up his butt. What a pain in the ass."

"You would think that if you pulled a snail's shell off, then it would be able to move faster. I tried it, but they seem to be more sluggish."

"What do cows wear when they're vacationing in Hawaii? Moo moos"

"What do you call 10 Ethiopians tied together? A raft"

"judge: ""you have chosen to defend yourself, is that correct?"" me: [muffled from inside full suit of armour] ""that's correct"""

"What is the first name of Mr Rafone? Mike."

"please sir. i beg of you. don't take away my job. i've got a tuscan kitchen & 2 full baths at home. sir. sir please. my kitchen. it's tuscan"

"I was at a party playing guitar once and somebody asked me if I could play Wonderwall I said maybe"

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick up someone's ass"

"Why was 1 all salty? Someone told him it was 2's day."