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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I decide to sleep and my brain goes like ""Come back here! Remember that thing you did, why?"" & we stay up talking about it."

"How do you communicate with a fish? You drop him a line."

"A black guy applied for a job at the LAPD He got shot down"

"A knock sounds at a nerd's door... *Knock knock!* ""Who's there?"" ""You know!"" ""You know who?"" ""Exactly. AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!!"""

"Man.. These croutons are the best thing since dried bread!"

"Two tangents meet at a bar After a long evening the one tangent says: ""That was fun, we should meet again!"" The other: ""You know that isn't going to happen!"""

"In Seattle, there's a code that states when two people are walking towards each other, the one with the bigger coffee cup passes first."

"I've been working with NASCAR on redesigning the track for more variety, but it's tough I just can't seem to get it right"

"What do you call a really cranky shaman with bad breath and osteoporosis? A Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis"

"Dammit Springsteen, I was born in the USA too but you don't see me making millions in monthly residuals from a 20 year old song about it."