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Joke of the Day

"Who do you call when your wheelchair gets a flat? Cripple A."

"Why is a violin difficult to play? Because it is fiddly!"

"What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Christmas? A ghoul Yule!"

"It's all fun and games until you notice the *rocket* in your nephew's Lego launchpad came from the drawer in your nightstand."

"What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant"

"How long does it take a necrophiliac to screw in a light bulb? Not long... they like to do it while it's still warm."

"Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock? I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!"

"What is it Lassie? Timmy fell down a well? Earthquake in LA? The Russians are coming? You found a plane? No? ...Oh, you want another beer."

"Why did the molecular biologist want to make a porno film of gametes? Because sex cells."

"What do you call a abortion in Czechoslovakia? A cancelled check."