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Joke of the Day

"I want a lady in the streets and a billion dollars"

"Why did the Orange stop rolling? It ran out of juice!!!"

"Mrs. Bigger had a baby. Which one was bigger? The baby. It was a little Bigger."

"What is the first thing men newborns do before first breath? Give head to their mom"

"Did you hear about the clam that could play violin? It had excellent mussel memory."

"*Guy tries giving me his phone number* Me: Oh no thank you. I already have one"

"I painted my computer black last night Now it runs much faster"

"Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb in a tree and act like a nut."

"hello secretary? i need you to go to that website where you can combine pokemon and combine mew and squirtle, print it out and bring it here"

"Theres a new STD for birds.. It's called Chirpes. And the worst part? Its untweetable."