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Joke of the Day

"Why being called handsome is an insult When you have a 3 way, it's called a threesome When you have a 2 way, it's called a twosome When you have a 1 way, it's called a handsome"

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"[Pick Up Line] Is someone calling me, Or are you just that beautiful. Because Something Is vibrating in my Pocket..."
"Cowboys would still be alive today if they hadn't shot all of their spare bullets in the air after winning one gunfight."
"My wife left me *sobs uncontrollably*"
"And Jesus said, ""Come forth and receive everlasting life...."" But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven."
"what's red and smells like blue paint? red paint"
"My Grandfather died in the holocaust... ...he got drunk and fell off a watch tower. I remember NOFX said this when I went to see them can't take credit."
"Men are like soap operas. They're fun to watch but don't believe everything you hear."
"What is the main reason people are voting for Brexit? When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is ""eeeeuuuuuuu"""
"[sees co-worker the next day after failing to kill him on purge night] mondays am i right?"
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