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Joke of the Day

"Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!"

"The truth about Chemistry Chemistry is all about experiments. Because Chem-is-try."

"Whenever I have sex, my eyes water and I find it hard to breathe... The doctor says its the mace."

"Q: How many 'Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: A 'Real Woman' would have plenty of Real Men around to do it."

"What do you call a sleeping police officer? An undercover cop."

"""Honey, have you seen the baby? I haven't seen the baby since I asked you to throw out the bath wat--OH DEAR GOD!!"" - birth of an expression"

"It's cute how alcohol comes in a paper bag so when you hit rock bottom you have something to hyperventilate into."

"I like TV, I was watching Blue Peter today He's my neighbour with a heart condition who was walking his dog. I asked why he didn't have a pacemaker. He replied ""I can't even keep up with my dog""..."

"In six years, people will be able to have cybernetic eyes installed in the back of their head... ...because hindsight is 2020."

"How do you help someone with ADD or ADHD? Send them to a concentration camp!"