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Joke of the Day

"You know how some people make food exactly as it appears on the cookbook? I guess you could say they made copy and pasta."

"What illness do you diagnose a sick ass online bowling player with? E-bowla!"

"The remote does not go next to the TV. That's the opposite of why you have a remote."

"Dad joke- Car sick. I was riding in the car with my cousin and uncle. My cousin says ""I think i'm getting car sick"". Her dad says, ""Well if you get out of the car then you'll just be sick""."

"The original ""Ben Hur"" was a mega hit movie ....with ( 11 ) Oscars. The remake is a box office flop. A clear case of ""Ben Hur, Done That"""

"Love so rare, you can still hear it moo."

"If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot."

"My Doberman sits on other dogs to assert dominance. I'm going to try this with my co-workers."

"After a few days with family, a padded cell with WiFi sounds like the perfect getaway."

"If you tell me I can only have sex with your sister over your dead body, your funeral is going to be awkward for some of your family."