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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the chicken say ""Meow oink bow-wow and moo?"" A: He was studying foreign languages."

"I sat in traffic this morning and my inner child wants to know if we're there yet."

"So I heard Lena Dunham has a new show coming out... It's called Sister, Sister."

"My friend told me he really dislikes ""All Star"" by Smashmouth. I said: ""Hey now..."""

"What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms? Whatever you want"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... ...bought for far less money than it would have cost to buy it locally."

"Why don't penguins ever get married? They always get cold feet! ^^I'll ^^show ^^myself ^^out."

"Sometimes I think I have the worst job in the world... ... and then I remember there are people who work in PR for Comcast."

"You know what we call comedy gold in the chemistry world? Ha2Au (I'm sorry, also the 2 should be sub-scripted but reddit wouldn't let me do that)"

"I've got a new job crushing fizzy drinks cans... It's soda pressing [Imgur](http://i.imgur.com/6lWz2UD.jpg)"