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Joke of the Day

"I used to date an anaesthetist... She was a local girl. [credit to seeing this on QI]"

"What's an owl's favorite rock band? Owls personally prefer the track list of Rock Band 2. Just a solid game."

"A pharmaceutical company in Canada is offering $47 billion to buy the company that makes Botox. People at Botox were pretty excited I mean, you should've seen the look that wasn't on their faces."

"The problem with being gay It's a pain in the ass"

"Sarah Palin's new Christmas book is her attempt at valuing the sanctity Christmas so she can sell books and make money just like baby Jesus."

"Craigslist is useful until you need a list of people named Craig."

"Well it's almost time for that "" New Year New Me "" bullshit again!"

"I hate gingerbread. If I owned a bakery, I wouldn't tolerate gingerbread. I'd be like, ""Get outta here, you redhead. Your money isn't good here."""

"Cats always have an expression like they ordered 2 of everything on Amazon with your credit card while you were at work."

"Mom says to Dad: ""I've found a BDSM magazine under our son's bed. What are we supposed to do about it?"" Dad replies: ""I don't know honey, but I think, hitting him would be very wrong."""