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Joke of the Day

"What is Donald Trump telling Independents? Orange is the new black."

"I was walking down the road.. I was walking down the road and saw a beautiful woman, A spark flew off between us. We had passionate, amazing sex. Amazing what tasers can do these days."

"How does a Japanese chihuahua say hello? Konichihuahua"

"How come its okay to tackle someone who wants to jump in front of a train but its unacceptable to slap a Big Mac out of their fat face."

"Anidiot Clicks Hah, you just clicked, ""An idiot clicks"""

"Sex is like a snowstorm... Sex is like a snowstorm: It's advertised a beautiful, in reality gets messy very quickly, and if you take 10"" overnight you are *not* moving the next day."

"What do bulls do math with? A cow-culator! (Cue groans)"

"Why did the cod sue the fish and chip shop? Assault and battery. Sorry again. I'm bored in work."

"[skydiving, first jump] INSTRUCTOR: everyone ready? EAGLE: yes. HAWK: check. SPARROW: ready. PENGUIN: this is a really bad idea."

"Well it's now clear to me that this crime scene would be considered, what? Pants required? Pants preferred? Hey, is that guy dead?"