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Joke of the Day

"All status updates posted on my wall are purely fictional any resemblance to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental."

"What do you call a vegetarian that eats seafood? An omnivore"

"If you love someone set them on fire. Did I get that right? Oh god what have I done. It's SET THEM FREE isn't it? Sorry burning loved one."

"What is a Jamaican's favorite video game? Smoke-a-mon"

"Why did Mario lose a life? He stubbed his MiyamoToe. ...I'll see my way out."

"What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grains..."

"Who does Santa think he is, judging me?! I might be naughty, but he's fat."

"Roses are red violets are take your clothes off"

"There are two types of people I can't stand. Nosy people, and people who won't tell me what the hell they're whispering about."

"Called the rape advice hotline last night.. Apparently it's only for victims."