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Joke of the Day

"I was 17 having dinner w new gf's parents. Pooped. 1st flush didn't take. I got nervous they'd hear a 2nd so I threw the turd out the window"

"What did one dick say to the other dick? Nothing, they were both stuck up cunts."

"*donates body to science* Science: ""I have a boyfriend"""

"I got 99 problems, and I wish a bitch was one, because then that means I interacted with a girl and can brag about it to my stuffed animals."

"This status is dedicated to whatever you're ignoring in real life to read it."

"""I find pleasure in the little things""... ...Said the pedofile to the court."

"What do cows say on Halloween? Still moo."

"An elephant steps on an ant hill and one ant climbs up to the elephant's neck; the rest of the colony screams: STRANGLE HIM ROLUNT!!!"

"Men are like Bluetooth. When they're close they're connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment."

"with great power comes great electricity bills"