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Joke of the Day
"Nutella: A reason to buy bread."
Next Joke
"How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb...? ...to get to the other side"
"spent the last 36 minutes yelling at this ugly little girl to get off my lawn before realizing it was my naked reflection in the window."
"[driver on opposite side of the road puts head lights on] moth driving: omg moth wife: Harold no we have a baby moth baby: FLOOR IT DAD"
"There's nothing more disturbing than the 1st time you hear someone you know using their ""whooo's a good dog"" voice."
"In my defense, my response to her inquiry as to how my day was going was ""I'm less stabby than normal"" not ""Please tell me about your cat."""
"Knock Knock Who's there? The Pilot"
"What does a mod do in their spare time? [Deleted]"
"Was standing in my front yard this evening and some neighborhood kids tried to deflate me."
"Did you guys know you get a full body massage while being embalmed? I can't wait."