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Joke of the Day

"If a giant talking rabbit were trying to steal my cereal, I'd probably be too busy screaming and stabbing to call him ""silly."""

"You said you run for fun? You know we have the internet now?"

"""Your majesty, we've searched far for him."" ""Did you search wide?"" ""No."" ""Yeah, you better do that."""

"Why don't witches wear underwear? So they can get a better grip on the broom."

"What concert only costs 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickelback."

"What is the difference between chicken and blondes ? The chicken knows on whose eggs sitting ."

"I'll defend puppies & kittens with my life.. But if your kid's acting like a spoiled brat...I will ABSOLUTELY knock him over when you're not looking."

"Have you heard about the muslim sex dolls? They blow themselves up."

"I wish IKEA was more like Lego.. on the back of the box it would show you 4 other things you could make from the same materials."

"Damn Girl, did you fall from heaven? Cus your face is fucked up."