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Joke of the Day

"I always imagined myself growing old with an archeologist, at least that way I'd know His interest in me would increase over time."

"One woodworm met another. ""How's life?"" she asked. ""Oh same as usual"" he replied ""boring."""

"Stumbled upon my sister's porn while on the family computer That's the last time I google her name..."

"Why do people become bakers? Because they knead the dough. (Kneading hand motions required during recital.)"

"My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, ""I wanna watch."""

"I received a lighter as a gift from my gf and it broke after a single use. I told her that there was a spark missing in our relationship. Edit: Spelling. Any Improvements to this joke appreciated."

"What do you call a sad terrorist? A crisis"

"She : It's not working between us. He : Why ? She : For starters I can't handle your silly jokes. He : Hmm okay and for main course ?"

"[Opens ""Where's Waldo?"" book to page with Eiffel Tower.] ""Paris. Easy. Next!"""

"(BAD JOKE) Did someone say pretzels? Yes, you just did"