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Joke of the Day

"I quit a job re-writing pre-classical Greek literature into braille. This was months ago. It feels like ancient history."

"Why is Islam in Iran so bad? Not exactly sure why, myself, it's just Shiite"

"Pretty rude of you to have a crush on someone else when I've done absolutely nothing to show I'm attracted to you."

"What's the difference between a corpse and a Chinese baby girl? 5 minutes"

"What do you call a person with native american ancestry and alopecia? apache"

"What did Justin Beiber say to his teacher? What do you mean?"

"Nothing soothes the soul like seeing a huge muscular guy walking with a tiny ice cream cone"

"I repaired my drums after my son broke it... Now he has to deal with the repercussions."

"How much do pirates charge for piercings? A buck an ear."

"Hell yes we can still be friends if you don't drink, I'm not that shallow. You have a driver's license, right??"