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Joke of the Day

"Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve? All the DNA matches and there's no dental records. Edit: made it to the hot page, my dad would be so proud, if only he knew who i was"

"A cannibal and a vegetarian go to lunch. They both order a Danish."

"What did the busy tailor say to the Scarecrow who needed some mending? I can't find the twine."

"LPT: If a non-Redditor sends you a funny pic/video on Facebook, don't tell them you already saw it last week on Reddit. You don't want them to finally realize you're a neckbeard."

"My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. Now she's a pearl diver in the Philippines & can afford her own damn dessert."

"What Did The Dying Gambler Say To His Wife? ""10 bucks says I don't need this oxygen tank"""

"I had to chase a mugger after he stole my wallet He really gave me a run for my money!"

"Three Russians walk into a bar Just kidding. They never left."

"Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a ""judgment free"" zone...unless we're talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week."

"Mickey Mouse wants a divorce. ""Mickey Mouse, it says you want to divorce Minnie because she was... extremely silly?"" ""No, I said she was fucking Goofy"""