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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl are you a kids movie from my generation because you're fun and cute but also horrifying in many ways I didn't originally realize."

"A Blackjack dealer is arrested for pedophilia... He will hit on anything 16 and under."

"The ironic thing about Americans making fun of Canada is Iowa."

"What's the difference between your finger and a hammer? I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!"

"what's the difference between a black man and a box of donuts? One of them's already full of holes before the cops see them."

"2nd Rule of Parent Club: If your kid suddenly says ""I think I'd better wash my hands"", don't question them. I repeat, DO NOT QUESTION THEM."

"Why do Eskimos wash in Tide? Because it's too cold to wash out Tide"

"Has anyone seen the trailer for the latest Tom Cruise movie? He can't go to the bathroom at all. It's called Mission Impissable."

"Three seals walk into a club... Martyrdom"

"I really can't stand listening to dubstep... I guess it just wubs me the wrong way."