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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun ? Roamin' Catholic"

"What do you call a dog in a submarine? A subwoofer"

"Me: Why doesn't he love me? Nachos: Eat more of me and find out! Me: *Chewing* So? Nachos: We need outside counsel. Send pizza down here."

"I knew a bar where a bunch of OBGYN's would frequent. Their favorite night to go was Wednesday because it was Cervix Industry Night."

"Don't introduce a guy to another guy. No guy needs to know any more guys."

"I'd like to meet those almond milk farmers. Shake their teeny hands."

"Knock, Knock Who's There? Lettuce Lettuce Who? Let us out."

"Superman: Look, Lois! Up in the sky! It's a bird! *squints* It's a plane... *puts on glasses* Oh, it's a plane. Lois: CLARK?!?"

"Must be nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be"

"""Just Be yourself"" is something I rarely hear from people who know me well."